One blog a month I said, a welcome new challenge I thought, a breeze I had hoped (back in February when I first set my intention to write one blog a month)...but alas, as I sit at my keyboard late in the evening on the last day of this month with no inspiration, please forgive my next few paragraphs of unplanned ramblings.
I am challenging myself to write this blog in 20 minutes. Why exactly I haven’t completed this task earlier, in a more leisurely and less time pressured manner, I’m not entirely sure. I certainly thought about what to put in the ‘October Blog’ over the past few weeks, I even started mentally writing content on a few occasions, yet nothing actually made it into text until now. Despite this however, on realising the month is nearly up, a sudden surge of determination has washed over me. Surely, this doesn’t have to be a long and arduous task? Surely I can do this in 20 minutes? Let’s find out....
Soooooo, (I’m spending more minutes that I’d like to here). Staring at a screen looking for and awaiting inspiration is not at all unfamiliar, it reminds me of clients finding themselves confronted with a blank sheet of paper. Knowing there is so much they wish to express, yet not knowing where to start. Afraid perhaps of where their first few marks will take them, or how they be will received and judged by the therapist ‘other’. With some anticipation I feel like I’m free falling into some kind of ‘stream of consciousness’ literary practice or Freudian ‘free association’ in writing, wondering where this will take me. Much like my clients describe, I can sense the excitement of getting started, keen to communicate, but unsure of what the result will reflect.
I suppose that sometimes we have to trust ourselves to communicate what we feel, or what feels important. Have you ever noticed that often it is our intuitive response to what our body and mind is telling us that can be the most helpful? In fact, many times I wonder if it is our own overthinking that ultimately takes away from an experience. Perhaps my self-set 20 minute blog challenge is the result of some need to quieten the mind, to take a break from my busy thinking and analysing tendencies. A way of reminding myself that it is okay to allow the moment in through simply feeling, even if it is an ‘end of the month, last chance to get this done‘ kind of feeling.
How many of us can really live in the moment? To be present with whatever the moment presents. This is such a simple practice in mindfulness, yet one that is so easily neglected. Hence finding myself surprised that it is already the end of the October, and now the end of my 20 minutes! So with best wishes for the month ahead, as we head into another national lockdown this week, may you find the opportunity to recognise, communicate and respond to your own needs, as well as those of others.
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